Feeling powerful and powerless simultaneously did not surprise me. So much of life follows the same course... sweet balanced by sour, joy intermingled with sorrow, etc. Having the youthful determination to make choices for myself, I sought out a midwife when I became pregnant at the age of 21 rather than follow the typical route of seeing an obstetrician. My mother had passed down the gift of researching options before making a decision to me and genes gave me the spirit of rebellion to not follow the accepted path unless it was a path I chose. As the end of my pregnancy drew near, I embraced with passion the idea of allowing my body to do what millions of women's bodies before me had done without putting man-made chemicals into my body to speed up the delivery or numb the God-given pain to feel my body birth my child. The pain of childbirth isn't the pain of death or the pain of hurt. It's the pain of life that awakens your soul and let's you know that you're really alive and a part of the rhythm of the universe and the never ending life cycle. During labor, I gave up control of my body and embraced the waves of contractions. Although I was powerless over my part in the process, I was powerful. Many hours passed. The love of my life held me throughout those hours and massaged areas that I'd normally blush to write about. We worked as one. As the light of dawn broke, I gave birth to my first son. I had the acute awareness that not only was a child born at that moment but also a mother, a father, a grandmother and an aunt.
DISCLAIMER: I do not want to minimize any woman's experience of the birth process with my own experience and fully support the right of a woman to choose her own path whether or not it includes modern medicine or by necessity ends with the inclusion of modern medicine.
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