Friday, August 17, 2007

Dear Diary... (Sunday Scribblings!)

Dear Diary,
Looking at so many blogs and seeing all of the creating and writing and wonderful things going on in the world around me, I begin to wonder where I fit in. I feel like a little girl twirling and twirling and twirling until she gets so dizzy she falls down and see stars whenever I try to focus on that which I am most passionate about. I look at Laini Taylor's Grow Wings blog and feel inspired to edit the fairytale I finally wrote last year. But, then, no wait, I check to see what new work Audrey Smith is doing in ceramics and I want to return to my college roots and start thrusting my hands into malleable dirt, messy and forgiving, and form it into ten foot tall beings or miniature pods or a bowl to serve my children from. I spin around one more time and my interests turn to the art quilts I read about in the quilting magazine I picked up at the ever-enticing fabric store. Quickly, I grab my fabric scraps and eek out two "inchies" as they are called, mini-art quilts only one inch by one inch.




People from the outside looking in at my life sometimes say my children are my creations and I've tried to make that be enough for me, but it's not. But, it is. To my first daughter, I've passed down my love of fashion and shoes, of designing my clothes and not being happy with the status quo. She also writes infinite stories. To my oldest son, I've passed down the idea that one size definitely does not fit all and that where there's a will, there's a way especially when you have access to the vast knowledge available on the internet. He also loves to paint, draw, write poetry, talk Shakespeare, write music and make movies....(you can see a couple of the Heinz Ketchup commercials he made further down on my blog). To my middle son, I've passed along a love of sculpture and creating something out of nothing. My second oldest son is harder to figure out because, like me, I think he spins from one passion to the next and often times falls into his big brother's shadow the same way I did as a child. And, that leaves me with my youngest who embodies the child I used to be... always pushing myself physically to teach myself how to jump and spin on ice skates or flip off the monkey bars or do a flip off the high board. I am happy that I've created free thinkers. I don't want to be the Mom behind the child or the wife behind the husband. I am Dalissa... but who is Dalissa?

PS: Diary, I can't take full responsibility for how my children have turned out. They also have a highly creative Dad with intense green eyes who has made his own contributions.

PPS: In an effort to find myself and stop spinning long enough to focus on ONE THING, I will be joining Megg (of Sunday Scribblings fame) in creating a ritual on September 2nd to energize my mojo. Read her post here for more info.

PPS: I'll upload photos of my inchers once I download them from my card. I'd also like to get Audrey's permission to post one of the photos of her work.

15 comments:

jayfish said...

i say get to sculpting. there's no better feeling than to have your hands in wet clay and create something.

Olsum said...

I conclude from your post that you're a great mother to your children! Well Done!

colleen said...

Oh, you're the one with the son who did the Heinz commercials. I loved them and still remember them. I loved reading this too. Dear Diary is the muse in disguise.

paisley said...

and now that you know you have done your duty and passed on some creativity and love of the arts to your children,, i feel it would be fitting that you take some time out and focus on you... you deserve it...

Rob Kistner said...

You've done all one can do -- put yourself out there for those you love to experience, and by which, to be enriched... well done!

gautami tripathy said...

You are you. Nothing can be as unique and as important as that.

e_journeys said...

When I first saw the word "inchers" I thought of inchworms. Then I thought of this great quote from the University of California, Davis:

"The humble earthworm: memento mori extraordinaire: 'Remember that thou shalt die.' The Conqueror Worm, devourer of prince and peasant. Metaphor for the frailty of the flesh, subverter of monuments, leveler of empires. Emblem of the vanity, the evanescence, and the end of all human endeavour. And yet, paradoxically, this earthworm, this great destroyer, is also a great builder- a builder of fertile topsoil, itself the sustainer of all civilization."

If that doesn't describe the creative process, I don't know what does. :)

julieunplugged said...

dalissa, remember you are young! It's totally normal to have these feelings right now as your toddlers turn self-reliant in the fundamental ways.

Thing is - you are so damned talented in so many arenas, it would be hard to pick what to focus on! I say, do one thing per month that stretches and nurtures you. That seems like it would be enough to get you started.

I love you!
Julie

Sentient Marrow said...

Julie, dearest, I love you, too, and am happy to see you here. You make me blush.

I just don't feel young. I try to combat that feeling but it's hard when my irl friends are 10 years younger than me with kids the same age as mine. I think to myself, hey, I used to be the young mama in the crowd, what the hell happened. . .

I am working on changing my thought prcess, though

Sandy said...

Ikwym. Been feeling old and totally devoid of creativity (or time for it) 'round here.

On one hand I agree that our children can be outlets for our creativity (so to speak) - kudos to you (and Jeff) for encouraging and teaching creativity to your children. You've done an amazing job.

However, otoh, as much as I recognize the importance of pouring myself into my children at this stage and how rewarding and fulfilling it can be, I also can't deny that I still crave and have a need for some type of creative outlet for me. It's just so doggone tough to find the time and most times I feel selfish for doing it! (And I feel torn between various outlets too!) But I've come to realize I'm much more enthusiastic and energized to develop and encourage creativity in my dc when I've had time to be creative on my own. So I try to find little bits and pieces of time to do it - photography has been great in that regard. Well not lately for various reasons which probably has a lot to do w/ my current feelings.

Anywhoo....I'm rambling.

Just wanted you to know you're not alone....and that I love ya!

Fledgling Poet said...

You are not alone in your restless desire to flit from one creative endeavor to the next! I'm the same way, and it is a challenge when you visit these beautiful blogs and see the inspiration on the pages...I feel your pain! It sounds like you have done a wonderful job with your children, though -- you should be very proud!

Paul said...

I think creativity has a lot to do with what we are, not what we do. Once we are creative, we will create.

Patois said...

You have some amazing talent. I hope you realize how much that's a part of you.

Bug said...

I love how you conquer your overwhelm and do small but beautiful art projects!

megg said...

hi there - i just got your last comment and I am stumped - I have no idea what you're talking about! I didn't delete anything! (There aren't any deleted spaces there either...) Your comment on my latest is still there though! Hmmm... strange. I'm sorry if something happened to make you worry - please don't! I'm not very good at leaving comments in return - not because I don't read, but because I read lots at once! Hope that you are well & that you are looking forward to the ritual! Let me know what you end up doing!!!